Without Darkness, You'd Never See the Stars...

As I'm emerging from my weird three-month cocoon of work, grief, love, and life itself - I'm having a hard time "getting back to normal". It occurred to me this morning, that this is my new normal. My husband and I lost a very good friend in Ben, but thank you to Ben for giving me Kate-E, her sister Laura, and so many of his very good friends who have all come together to bond in our grief and in the loss of such an amazing human being. You were never a stranger to Ben, within 5 minutes - you were his friend. We should all be so lucky to have been one.

I am finally halfway through my first month of being uninjured at Crossfit and I have to admit, my thirty year old body is a little rougher around the edges and slower to heal than my twenty year old body. However, I have a beautiful thirty year old soul - and even on the days when my jeans are snug, and running hurts so badly that I want to just stop - I am thankful for it.

The end of the year and the holidays always brings to mind changes and the resolutions of a new year. I've made a few already - I want to run a mile 5 times a week to get over my utter and complete hatred of running. Most importantly, I want to be kind, and warm. I've been working on this one for awhile (thank you again, Ben). I make cookies for my trash guys and package them up and put them out with the cans every Wednesday. Because they are helpful to me, and I want to thank them for it. Some might argue - they're just doing their job. I remember saying when I worked at Dell that you never got kudos for "just doing your job"- but maybe you should. My lovely friend Dana is a stay-at-home mom of two. I give her mental kudos every day, as someone who gets super irritated when my dog gets needy - I absolutely could not do her job. She deserves the kudos and the cookies too. Maybe sometimes we just need to tell people that we admire what they do - or give them a big thank you for making your life better, no matter how they do it.

I've already decided to sign back up for the I Am Crossfit challenge again this year. I was injured halfway through it last year, and though I limped my way through it - I am determined to emerge victorious this year. I will be running, and finish with my arms in the air and my head held high - proud of DOING something I wasn't even sure i THOUGHT I could do.

A lesson for life - half of it is just showing up and being there.

One year, already?

It's hard to believe that Aaron and I have been married for a year already! We were lucky enough to spend our anniversary in Las Vegas and while my husband won first place in a national shooting competition - I won first place in the "best wife ever" category for sharing our anniversary with a national shooting competition. ;)

My best friend in the whole, wide world lives in Las Vegas and we were lucky enough to have a beautiful dinner with Deb and her awesome boyfriend, Barry at Mon Ami Gabi. My husband and I ignored our pledge to eat well, and instead - just ate like total gluttons. One of my favorites was the apple tarte tatin dessert, which I attempted to replicate with decent success below. I cheated a bit and used a store-bought Pillsbury pie crust, which worked like a charm and saved me the time of making my own!

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter
• 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
• 4 medium Golden Delicious apples, cut into thin 1/8" slices
• Ground cinnamon
• 1 egg, lightly beaten

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

Melt the butter and sugar together in a 12" ovenproof skillet over medium to medium-high heat. Add your thin apple slices and stir to coat them with the melted butter mixture. Sprinkle with cinnamon and cook them until the apples have softened slightly and start to take on a light brownish color - 10 to 15 minutes. Sprinkle them with a bit more cinnamon (depending on how much you like) and arrange them into one layer on the bottom of the pan. Try to make it pretty, this will be the top of your tarte!

Layer your pie crust over the top of the skillet and crimp the sides with a fork. Poke a few 'steam holes' in it and brush with the lightly beaten egg. Bake for 30-40 minutes or until the pie crust is golden brown!

A little note..

Trying to get back into my blog, but for some reason - the heart hasn't been in it lately. I've been having some health problems and combined with the hole in my world where Ben used to be - it's been difficult to get motivated but I'm getting back.

I've been in the kitchen lately cooking some old favorites, so maybe I'll decide to make a few new ones to post here soon.

Instead, I'll post a 'loldog' in honor of German Shepherd Week and my beloved Mr. Travis... (and yes my beloved Dana, I do see the spelling error in the loldog -they're on purpose in these, I promise!)

In Mourning

This blog is mourning the loss of my beloved friend and neighbor, Ben Gardner. I tried many of these recipes out on him and his lovely wife Kate-E before they were ever seen here. He was an amazing friend and truly one of the happiest and most loving people I've ever met. My heart hurts for the loss of him and for his wife Kate-E, who my family and I love dearly.

I don't know how long this break will be but I need time to mourn my friend.

Easy Lunch

I recently hosted a bridal shower for a friend of mine, the lovely Steph and made what felt like 40 pounds of this chicken salad. I've pared the recipe down (lest you make 40 pounds too) and decided to share the chicken salad that received rave reviews!








Steph's Chicken Salad

• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 cups cooked and chopped chicken meat
• 1/3 cup chopped pecans
• 2 chopped green onions
• 1 tablespoon sweet pickle relish
• optional: 1/8 cup dried cranberries

In a small bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, fresh lemon juice, sweet relish and pepper until well combined and set aside. In a larger bowl, mix together everything else :) You just want to toss it all together until combined - not breaking everything into tiny pieces. Pour 3/4 of the mayo mixture onto the chicken mixture and stir together. If this is "wet" enough for you - you can ignore the rest of the mayo mixture or add it all! Serve it by itself or like I did on cute little tea sandwiches and enjoy!

mmmmmuffins!

As a raging carb-aholic there is little I love more than bread - but I do love a good blueberry muffin. With a cup of coffee in the morning, or really, snagged from the fridge at 2am where I eat it like a thief in the night - these are delish. :)

Blueberry Streusel Muffins

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup milk (I use 2% but whatever)
• 1-1/2 cups blueberries

Streusel

• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 2 tablespoons butter, chilled

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees and line your muffin tin with liners (use them, you savage). In a small bowl, take 1 tablespoon of flour and toss it together lightly with your blueberries until coated - this will make sure they distribute through the muffins and don't just sit on the bottom of the muffin!

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until fluffy and well mixed. Add in the eggs, one at a time - beating the batter until the egg is concorporated before adding the next egg, and then add in the vanilla.

In a separate bowl, stir together the baking powder, salt and flour and set aside. Alternate between adding the flour mixture and milk to the butter mixture, stirring between each addition until just combined. Fold in your blueberries last and then spoon the mixture into the muffin tin - filling each cup 3/4 the way full.

In a small bowl, mix together 2 tablespoons of flour, brown sugar and the cinnamon. Cut in the butter using a fork until mixture resembles course crumbs and sprinke over the unbaked muffins. Bake the muffins for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick in the middle comes out clean.

Kitchen Tip #3

As you can tell - I do a lot of baking. I enjoy the look of total pleasure on someone's face when they're scarfing down a cookie or having a bad day, and then I swing by with a brownie. It's enough to make anyone smile. I've been baking since roughly third grade, so I've got a lot of trial/error knowledge to pass along :) Here's one cookie-changing tip.

Whenever you add something like chocolate chips or raisins, etc to a cookie, cake, bread - whatever. Toss it in a little all purpose flour first so they're just coated. This will help "suspend" them in the dessert so you won't end up with a cake with all the chocolate chips at the bottom, or a cookie with no visible chips on top!