Deadlifts - They're Not For Sissies.

*caveat - the hands pictured above are NOT mine. Mine haven't ripped...yet. ;)

A girl at work yesterday was talking about (oh the horror) dishpan hands. Apparently her 50's bungalow lacks a dishwasher, which really, would kill me at this point, but I have little sympathy for her dishpan hands. Why? Because Crossfit has given me a serious case of the man-hands. I'm okay with it, since I earned them.

These hands have calluses that also have calluses, but I got them by struggling through pullups, deadlifting my body weight, and doing man-makers until I thought I'd die (or prayed that I might). I've gotten to a point where my hands are hindering my success instead of helping - my hands hurt so badly this morning that I did reps of TWO on the bodyweight deadlifts. Hence, the callus discussion.

I never in a million years thought I'd be having discussions about the best ways to shave/shred/get rid of my calluses - but here I am. A lean, mean, callused machine.

Oddest Phenomenon

I'm most comfortable in workout clothes.

I realized this today as I was perusing Gap on my lunch hour, hoping desperately for a cute top to wear to my convention in Vegas (work appropriate or after-hours, really, I'm flexible).

Twenty minutes later, I walked out of Gap Body with new running capris, three new workout tanktops and a single, solitary sweater that I couldn't resist the color of but didn't fit either of my Vegas categories. What on Earth?

Then I thought back over the past two months... and realized - I've been doing this for two months! Going shopping and ending up with tons of new workout stuff - and really not much else. I'm lucky that my office is flexible with our wardrobe requirements as several of my outfits lately have incorporated my new favorite tanktop: http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=23279&vid=1&pid=807564&scid=807564002 in several different colors - all under one of the seemingly hundred cardigans I own.

Sometimes, if it's Friday, I even incorporate my workout shoes - http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/products/Five-Fingers-Bikila-Womens.htm

Thank God, I haven't reached the realm of wearing my skintight workout pants yet.

Yet.

Mopedy, Mopedy, Mope Mope

Something is off today. I feel like there's several contributing factors but the main feeling of the day is that I want to take my toys and go home.

I had a lovely weekend with my lovely best friend and her ever-so-lovely boyfriend in town. Unfortunately, I celebrated this occasion with a bit too much gluten-filled abandon for someone on a food/exercise challenge. Cheese? Sure! Some red wine? Don't mind if I do! Chips? How much could a few handfuls of chips really hurt?

Turns out - quite a bit. I'm cranky as hell, sleep deprived and my stomach feels like a cement mixer is on high in there. I'm also missing my best friend like crazy already, and disappointed for letting myself jump repeatedly 'off the wagon'.

I will give myself credit for not missing a single workout while they were here and indeed - actually making it to a few extra ones. I didn't cheat at EVERY meal but I did cheat every day. Small victories?

Time to buckle down and finish this challenge strong - 2 weeks left and not that I'm counting, but 30 days until Italy. Bring it on!

Sir Mix-A-Lot Was Right!

So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!) Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!) Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!) Shake that healthy butt! Baby got back!

These are the jeans formerly known as "Damnit!" - as in, "DAMNIT, THEY DON'T FIT!". Attempts to put these jeans on have ended in crying, being pissed off, and sometimes, throwing them across the room. Lately, they've ended in a huge grin. Can't beat that.

If anyone told me even a week ago - that I would be gloriously posting a picture of my bare stomach anywhere, I would have said they were crazy. Maybe it's the fact that I'm having an awesome day or maybe it's the fact that I feel great - but I wanted to post a paleo update picture! While the pounds aren't really falling off - the inches are! So what, you might say, does Baby Got Back have to do with my oh-so-chiseled abs? ;)

If you asked my loving husband what my best feature is - he'd likely reply - my butt. That's right. I've got a white girl's ghetto-booty which has only improved by air/back/overhead squatting to freedom in Crossfit. So when I noticed my jeans loosening in the waist - I was excited... when I noticed a little jean loosening in the butt area - I was worried! I know, ironic. I've decided to counteract this by adding even more air squats to my loving routine and just hope that it will stay there in all it's glory.

After all, no one ever wished for a flatter ass, y'know?

Happy Friday! ;)


*I have no idea what I was doing with my pinky in that picture...

GF Double Chocolate Walnut Brownies

I know, I'm "on a diet" (I hate that but eating plan just makes me sound like an ass). Last week, my CrossFit Challenge team rocked the Paleo Potluck at Mary's Ridiculous House (Her kitchen is the size of my entire downstairs!) and my coach, as a treat to our sugar-starved and dessert-loving bodies made us these. I was skeptical at first. No sugar? NO SUGAR? But then again, wouldn't it defeat the point if it did? She did make a few Paleo-friendly substitutions that I kept in, and another one that I made just because I'm reasonably certain that in a fit of pique a few months pre-Paleo, I chucked my bottle of grapeseed oil. The original recipe is lovingly hijacked and then twisted from Elana's Pantry (www.elanaspantry.com) - THE site for gluten free deliciousness.

GF Deliciousness

• ½ cup dark chocolate chips (73% cacao preferred - you won't find this in the baking aisle)
• ¼ cup coconut flour (sold in the bulk section of Sprouts for far, far less than the Red Mill GF)
• ½ teaspoon celtic sea salt (I used McCormick Grinder's Sea Salt. $2? Sold!)
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• 2 eggs
• ½ cup honey (we used this instead of agave nectar and it was AWESOME)
• ¼ cup grapeseed oil (I used extra virgin olive oil)
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract ½ cup chopped walnuts
• ⅓ cup dark chocolate chips 73% cacao
• (My addition - 1 tablespoon of hot/warm/cold/whatever coffee)*
  
1. Place ½ cup chocolate chips in food processor
2. Pulse in coconut flour, salt and baking soda until combined
3. Pulse in eggs, honey, oil, coffee and vanilla
4. Pour batter into a greased 8x8 pyrex dish
   

So, as you can see above. I multilated this recipe. Took it out back and just beat it. I didn't even use the darn chocolate chips because (shock) my Walmart was really lacking in quality chocolate. I marched over to the candy bar aisle, girded my loins, and grabbed two bars of Lindt 70%. They worked like a charm! But a dessert that is good at taking substitutions and my husband and inlaws loved and I could eat? AWESOME. This isn't really "paleo" but truly, it's as close as you're going to get with chocolate!

*I add coffee because in any recipe containing chocolate - it just takes it to the next level. It makes chocolate have this insane depth of flavor. I used to cheat and add it to boxed brownie mix all the time - your coworkers will love and hate you at the same time

My life in eggs.

Don't get concerned about the title - this is not about to be a post about my lady bits or reproductive anything, I swear. I have a Paleo stumbling block, which I'm a bit stuck on. Paleo and really, any awesome eating, encourages QUALITY. Free range, organic, grassfed, no cage, happy life, etc. That's all fine and dandy, and I'm sure it does taste awesome, but this girl's got a mortgage. A big one. One that will be paid off when I'm 40. That's awesome - but it does get in the way of free-range goodness.

My husband eats at least 4 eggs a day, for breakfast. I eat two. That's six eggs (big math here) on a daily basis. I know it doesn't sound like it could be a budget buster, but let's do the math. I went to the Farmer's Market this weekend - and those happy chickens are apparently the next Oprahs because their eggs were $5/dozen. That's $0.42 an egg. Still cheaper than what I'd be up to in my former Starbucks Drive Thru Life (tm) but that means my husband and I, were we free range loving folk, would be eating $2.50 a DAY in eggs. Just for breakfast!

Let's rock that over a year. Would you spend $912.50 on eggs? Let's compare. My love/hate SuperWalmart relationship continues. Their eggs are $1.87 for EIGHTEEN. Let's round up to $0.11 an egg. Which means we have a $0.66 a day egg habit. Translates to $240.90 a year in eggs.

That means in order for me to eat those healthy, happy eggs - I have to have almost $700 more a year in my food budget. And that's just the eggs! What about grassfed beef? Buffalo? Bison? Organic chicken?

I won't be winning any awards for this post - but a girl's gotta eat, and I'm not talking about $900 worth of eggs. I'll do my best Paleo, but I'm not down for my grocery bill looking like a house payment.

The Unexpected Punch in the Face

I've had two pretty negative experiences with my Crossfit coach these past weeks... and after the one this morning, I went with the "calling her out" approach. I'm a frustrated crier, so I went with the email approach. Open letter to a Crossfit coach below.

Hey,

Your words from this morning have been rattling around in my brain for the past two and a half hours, and I wanted to discuss them with you - so you'll know where I'm coming from. They hurt. There's really no other way to put it, but on the off-chance that you weren't aware, I wanted to tell you. I'm not writing this because I'm mad, though there is some of that as well. I'm writing it because I'm disappointed and hurt, and as my coach, I feel that you're the last person in the world who should make me feel hurt and discouraged. I'm also hoping that you weren't aware that your words made me feel this way, and by telling you that they do - that it won't happen again. I know that I'm a bit of the class clown, and that my sense of humor may make it seem like I don't mind being the butt of a joke, but sometimes - I do.

My experience with IAC has been very different this year than it was last year. This year, I decided to get off my grain-loving butt and devote myself to Paleo. It's been really, really hard for me and until Saturday, I was damn proud that I hadn't so much as eeked in a pita on my food log. Instead of any praise, this morning I got "Well, I knew you'd cheat". Ouch. I started paleo immediately following Christmas because I didn't want the extra workouts and the deprivation insanity to start at the same time. So this isn't week 4 for me, it's week 6. That's six weeks for a girl who couldn't go 1 day without ANY sort of bread before. I was really proud of that fact - until this morning. Maybe I'm overly sensitive following our exchange last week - but it all boils down to the way I feel - like I have a coach who doesn't believe in me.

Last year, my IAC coach was Carey. I'm not telling you this to impart any sort of "my ex was hotter" type strategy - but because I think she's a stunning example of what a coach should be. I didn't do every single prescribed extra workout last year either - but Carey was positive and enforced to us all that she was happy we were getting the extra workouts in, no matter what they were. We'd write them in our food logs - and every week she'd go over them with us, adding in any comments that she thought we needed to round out the workout (maybe some more cardio here, try to get in some more weights there) and even when I ate a BAGEL last year - it was more of a "hey, you're doing so well, don't do that". It was criticism but I never felt like a dog, getting smacked on the nose with a newspaper.

When you asked us all to fill out a form giving you feedback on your coaching style, and how we liked to be coached, I did it. I was hoping that this might impart that while sometimes I need a boot to the backside - I also need a cheerleader. I need someone to believe in me other than myself. When I did lean lifting over the break with Anna and Cat - I was amazed. Holy crap, I can lift like they do. They were nothing but positive influences on my lifting and the eye opening partners that I needed. I did the same amount on press as Erika did this last time. ERIKA. I remember joining our class, struggling to do my 45#, and looking at her thinking I'd never, ever be able to lift in her group. I can. That's the type of reinforcement I need from a coach. I don't want this to feel like I'm berating you incessantly. I'm trying to open your eyes, tell you how I feel, and what I need. Right now, I feel like you don't believe in me, and that you haven't - and I get to spend the next six weeks in our IAC group. Not a great prospect at the moment.

Take care,

Kel